Photo Credit: Flashcurd
A single gal’s guide for maintaining sanity at stressful times!
I guess it sort of depends what type of friend this person is. Is she your bestie, a Facebook acquaintance, a coworker, a friend of a friend…of a friend? If you’ve been single for some time now maybe you’re re-evaluating your lifestyle. Are you even ready for a relationship, the possibly of marriage or are you single and happy?
No one wants to be the permanent girlfriend but most people on this planet prefer not to die alone. Or maybe you want to die alone…surrounded by angry cats with wrinkled old bills between the mattress and old faded couch cushions. Maybe it’s just New York but times are changing and it isn’t the same meeting people anymore. Everyone is so distracted by their iPad or too busy trying to beat their Mom in Candy Crush that we don’t talk anymore. Half the time people only look up when making a coffee order or crossing the street, if that. I’m 28 and I’ve been single for sometime now, years in fact. But I went through phases after my last relationship. First I was kind of heart broken. I was the one dumped. Time honestly heals all wounds and I got over my last beau ages ago and fairly quickly. Honestly, I was over it in under a week and we had been together for over a year. My belief is I’m not chasing you. My other theory of life is, if it’s not beneficial or cast an aura of negativity then I release it into the universe and let it go, like fireflies in a glass jar. My logic, if you don’t want to be with me then what can I do? C’est la vie! I’m definitely not spending my life in a one-sided relationship. Hell Nah!
So of course I became the Party Girl!
It was fun. I had all this free time and energy. In all honestly, even when I’m in a relationship I’ve never been much of a home body. I’m a social butterfly. But after some time I developed a void. I saw friends around me in relationships, many were long term. I saw how happy they were and wanted that for myself. Then I slowly hit this really gross lonely stage. “Emo Anya.” I had these random lone outburst of tears; thinking about how much ‘love I had to give.’ Oh gosh isn’t that a song? I will survive. Ha! I was envious but not jealous. I love seeing my friends happy, so it never bothered me. I started to feel like maybe it was me. Maybe there was something wrong with me. Even though I am quite awesome.
I felt like that for some time. Soul searching was involved. Now what’s soul searching? It’s different for everyone. Some people find it in meditation. Some people find reflection in music or advice from a friend. I guess it was all of the above, a bit of everything. One day I just put it in my head that I can’t rush love. I can’t rush a ‘soul mate.’ But then again, as a woman I feel pressured. This invisible Biological clock is ticking above me and with each passing birthday the sand is slowly seeping through the hourglass. Right? What stops me from blindly choosing the next hottie that walks by? The thought that I could waste the last years of my twenties with someone only later to find out we aren’t compatible. Then what? I’m 30 amidst a mid life crisis and once again single. Then out on the dating scene again when either: 1. None of my dresses fit. 2. I’ve passed…or rather they’ve passed age appropriateness.
When I think of marriage and love I’m thinking forever and a day. The human eternity of growing old together and walking down the street as my hunched and slow moving husband cups my ass while navigating down the street. Or maybe he’s giving me a ride on his lap in a motorized wheel chair. Only to later go home so he can fumble for his glasses and aim his shriveled, possibly non-working penis, towards my vagina; collapsing during four play into a deep blissful sleep. A girl can only dream.
Darn it. I went off track, like every single girl does. Sporadic A.D.D and I never made my actual HandBook. So here it is…in the next post. The Handbook!